Snake Hands

Several days ago I found myself in Idaho, driving west along the St. Joe River with a couple of companions, when, rounding a bend in the road, we came upon a snake. The creature was sprawled in the east-bound lane, and although she wasn’t moving, she had a certain three-dimensional je nais se quoi that suggested she was still alive. (Reptiles have the dangerous habit of sunning themselves on asphalt.) I pulled a U-turn and parked on the shoulder, hazards flashing.

The snake was a garter snake — alive, sure enough, though not for long, if she kept up her blacktop basking. She began to writhe in furious sine waves at my approach, making capture difficult, but I managed to grab her muscular midsection — a snake, I suppose, is nothing but midsection — and released her into the marshy scrub between road and river. I slipped back into the driver’s seat, mentally congratulating myself for this minor act of heroism, when I saw my buddies’ noses wrinkle. Then, to my horror, I smelled it myself. I had been musked.

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Neighborhood Hauntings

I forget this every year—in October, there are places where it is no longer safe to walk. If we want to go to our friend Peter’s house, we can’t go up the street and around the corner as we usually do. If we need to get to daycare, we have to turn and walk in the exact opposite direction first, before U-turning around the block. And Ezzy’s house? Forget it. That street is riddled with danger.

The Halloween decorations are out again, and some of them are scarier than others. Some houses have cheerful pumpkins. Others have black cats. Then there are the skeletons, the witches hanging from trees, the bloody severed body parts. On Ezzy’s street, there is a demonic baby with red eyes crawling on the rooftop. That’s why we can’t go over to Ezzy’s until November.

Every year, I forget how much terror these decorations create for my children. Sometimes we can protect ourselves by crossing the street. Sometimes they close their eyes and I hold their hands until we pass. Sometimes riding a bike really fast helps. But there are some houses, some days, where we can’t pass by at all.

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Arguing with the Finkbeiner Test

Update: the Nobel Prize for physics for 2020 went to the scientist for whose profile I created the Finkbeiner Test; and the prize for chemistry went to the two scientists who helped create CRISPR; and to the amazement of headline writers everywhere, all three were women. I had to get all over Twitter, grading these headline writers because they probably forgot the test if they ever knew it, and because the test is not pass/fail. The test is simple; grading it is not. As I admit below. This post first ran September 26, 2017.

Apparently we’re feminine/ist this week, or so far Emma and I are.  I want to argue about the Finkbeiner Test.  The test began with a heroic vow:  I would write a profile of a woman scientist without the clichés that litter these profiles.  The test took off when Christie wrote a post about my post for Double X Science, making a solid argument in which she listed the cliches as bullet points.  And it became nationally famous when the New York Times began the obituary of a woman rocket scientist with “She made a mean beef Stroganoff.”  (The Times had to change that sentence and you may picture me smiling evilly as I type this.)  In general, the Finkbeiner Test* comes down to this:  if you’re not writing it about a man scientist, then why would you write it about a woman scientist?

Recent specific examples:

  • Last week, I heard a woman scientist being introduced as the first woman to win the Crafoord Prize.
  • Also last week I read a well-researched, well-written profile in a science magazine of another woman scientist whose science is careful but her results are unexpected and therefore controversial; also she has children, her ex-husband’s opinion of her work is low, she finds the controversy difficult to handle, and in fact, her field’s aggressiveness has cost her an NSF grant.**
  • And the week before last, I finished writing a profile of yet another woman scientist: she worked much of her career without a university job, finally got one with tenure at age 59.

Would you write any of these things about a man scientist? any at all?  You would not.  He’d never be the first man to win an established prize.  His children and his ex-wife’s opinions would be seen as patently irrelevant.  His controversial work and his ability to withstand his field’s aggressiveness would make him not fragile, but an iconoclastic hero.  And by age 59 he’d be thinking retirement.  You write about women scientists saying these same things, even though all are meant as compliments, and wouldn’t you suspect these women of being, well, you know, sort of affirmative-actiony, kind of weepy, a little second-tier, maybe not quite top-drawer? You would.

The Finkbeiner Test caught a certain amount of flack***, all of it rational and politely-expressed and usually posed as questions.  I am here to answer them.Ever since Christie got us famous using bullet points, I’m all enthusiastic about bullet points.

  • Question: Shouldn’t the personal details – the childcare arrangements, the husband’s job – also be included in profiles of male scientists, that is, be part of humanizing a scientist’s image?
  • Answer:  Nope, even though humanizing scientists is one of science writers’ great desiderata.  Plenty of humans deal with childcare and spousal jobs; what makes scientists interesting is their research.  So, if you want to humanize them, ask them how they got interested in their fields, how they stuck with their interests, how one interest led to the next, whether they worry about being wrong.  Ask what parts of their lives or characters led them to work on something so hard.  Because childcare and spousal jobs are not interesting.
  • Question:  Shouldn’t the gender inequities in the woman scientist’s field be mentioned? shouldn’t her being first to win a prize be an honor? shouldn’t we know that her women students find her a role model?  Aren’t inequities, prizes, and role-modelling all part of the long jump that women scientists have to nail?
  • Answer:  same answer as above.  Sure, fine, of course, but the questions are all irrelevant.  They’re not about the science that interests the scientist and that makes her interesting.  They’re about prejudice in the fields of science, about blinkered prize-giving committees, about expectations in the students.

But now that I’ve laid down the law, I run into a problem.  I wrote a profile of a woman scientist who began her scientific career with an excellent education and a small, specific interest that eventually became evidence in the solution of a huge problem.  She’s also of the age that made up the first sustained trickle of women into science. So she did what most of these first-line women scientists did.  She and her scientist-husband agreed that he’d get a job first and then she’d try to get a job in the same place.  She did this for place after place, job after job, year after years, even though the places never gave her positions or money and provided only the conduits for the grants that funded her research.  She raised three children.  She followed her husband’s advice: just publish enough good science in enough good journals and you’ll be ok.  And she was; at age 59 she finally got a tenured position; at age 73, in 2004, she was the first and only woman to receive a scientific medal that’s been given out since 1989.  At 86, she’s still working; she published several papers this year.  She has what looks like a normal scientific career, only redshifted by 20 years.

You’ll have to agree that at the least she is remarkably persistent and that her persistence is relevant, even central, to her career.  I forgot to add, her women students have ended up with excellent jobs and are grateful to her for being such a good role model.  I thought I might have to write a profile that would consciously fail the Finkbeiner Test, then change my name and move to New Zealand.

But then I thought I’d better check with her.  I explained the test to her and asked if she thought a profile could represent her fairly and still pass the test.  She said, and I quote her exactly:  “I’m all with you and so relieved.  I am a paleoecologist who happens to be female.  I am so tired of talking about ‘what was it like to be a woman etc etc.’  The work I did is unrelated to my sex.  So I am happy to be written about for what I do and not who I am.”

Well by God then, let’s do it.

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* People compare the Finkbeiner Test to the Bechdel Test.  The comparison is fair and I’m charmed by it.  But when I wrote the original post, I’d never heard of the Bechdel Test.  Just so you know, I wasn’t copying.

**I know.  This makes no sense whatever.  But here are the sentences:  “The battles have taken a toll on her funding, too; her National Science Foundation grant runs out in the fall.  ‘I worry constantly about keeping the lab going,’ she says.”

***Really, just google Finkbeiner Test.  Lots of links, just pick one, they’re all good. This is the Wikipedia article.

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Photos:  astronaut Claudie Haigneré –  PhOtOnQuAnTiQuE; physicist Lise Meitner (left) talking to students and faculty at Bryn Mawr College including Sue Jones Swisher (rear, center of photo), Professor Rosalie Hoyt (front right), and Danna Pearson McDonough (partially visible on right) –  NRCgov; both via Flickr; names in the Meitner picture from the American Institute of Physics, via my ex-step-daughter-in-law’s mother, Sue Broughton.

I Can Take It With Me

The big red van will soon be stuffed to the gills.

Sometimes you just need new views, fresh air, and worries as basic as “do we have enough water”? So, we’re heading to West Virginia. Country roads and all that jazz.

Full disclosure: It’s not quite the way I used to do it. For example, we will have plenty of water. It will be filtered. There might be ice cubes.

Please don’t think less of me. I remember my rustic trips of yore with great pleasure. The musty smell of the tent I should have aired out before we left. The sound of the zipper going up and around early on a misty morning, someone emerging before me to, hopefully, re-build the fire and make campfire coffee. I remember lying there a bit longer, embraced by the flannel bag—Army green stamped with red ducks, time-worn and pilled inside. (Okay, it was actually a North Face minus-20 bag, but remember those flannel ones that, when rolled, took up the space of a spare tire? I do. They held so tightly to the scents of the previous campsite; I can still conjure the smell that would waft up on the unrolling.)

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An Odd Thing about the Pandemic

Here’s one of the odd things about this pandemic but it’ll take me a minute to explain it. The older you get, the more people you know who have died.  You know what “died” means:  their physical bodies have stopped, we’re left with whatever of their presences we can hold on to.  Whatever else the pandemic has done, especially for people like me who live alone, it has split the meaning of death.  Our friends, relatives, neighbors, mail carriers, though their bodies haven’t stopped we’re still left only with whatever of their presences we can hold on to.  Phone presences. Zoomed presences.  Presences through a glass door. Presences 10 feet away, outside, with masks.  People don’t seem quite as real as they used to be or they seem to live in a world farther away.  Does this make sense? People we can’t touch.  It’s in the language: a healing touch, a touching moment.

I don’t know anyone who’s had covid-19, except one guy who seems to have antibodies and a bad flu in early spring, a friend whose father had it and recovered, a friend whose mother-in-law had it and didn’t; I know several people who’ve tested negative.  People I talk to are stressed, tired, fried, but they feel lucky.  They’re lucky that they’re not sick and that most everyone they know isn’t sick; they’re lucky to be eating, sleeping, and taking care of business.  They’re on social media with pictures of their pets, their gardens, their hikes.  They seem to have discovered an entirely new set of neighbors – preying mantises, crows, plants, hawks, lizards, raccoons, deer, bears even – that they knew they had but had never paid much attention to.  I look over the top of my computer and out the window little bright white puffy clouds are meandering around; inside Mozart is on the radio, and right in front of me is a bouquet that a friend sent that looks like crème de brulee tastes. These things are good, right? things that can happen in a quieted world?  And the pandemic will be over, right? Some day it will.  Things will be different but not all bad. We’ll get through it, we’ll still be happy.

I had a birthday last week.  Neighbors left kid-pictures on my porch table; three neighbors left cards; one left chocolate cake; one left a book. My brother and sister in law called, so did a friend from out of town, so did my godson.  Friends sent kind wishes on social media.  Friends texted and messaged. Partly I felt guilty because I never ever remember anyone’s birthday, much less do kind birthday acts.  Mostly I felt deeply profoundly grateful that I know such people.

The other day, I ordered lemon ginger scones from a bakery that sold them at the farmers market.  I don’t go there any more, I haven’t been since March.  The person who delivered the scones was someone who’d run the stall at the market, someone I have no great feelings for. I saw her walk up on my porch, recognized her, and had this little spike of pure joy.  I smiled all over the place, I thanked her over and over.  Afterward I thought, what if she had been someone I know I miss, what would I feel then?  What if I could touch this person I miss, or could hug them? What if I could be in their near, physical presence? I’m not a huggy, touchy person but I think I would start crying and not be able to stop.

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Photo: via Wikimedia, www.vperemen.com

Homologies

This post originally appeared in December of 2019

Some things are sisters, if you know how to look at them

like

a wildfire sun and a new penny

like

snowy boughs and salamander feet

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Plant wisdom

Usually, summer is the season for hiking, weddings, family vacations, and neglecting my houseplants and backyard. I’m used to coming home after 10 days away to parched calathea and a lawn full of dandelions. But this year, being home all the time means I am taking special care of my plant friends, because what does it say about me if I can’t keep them alive when I no longer have an excuse for my usual carelessness?

In return, they’ve taught me some things.

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