The Last Word

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Leash burn

 

July 6 – 10, 2015

That about wraps up our Snark Week 2015, but don’t worry, there are plenty of other seemingly adorable animals that want to tear you limb from limb, and we’ll tell you about them next year (if you survive to read about them).

To recap this year’s horror show, we begin with the duck-billed platypus which, according to Erik, is not only venomous but also poisonous — and implicated in all the most intriguing assassinations in history.

Jennifer is intimately familiar with the darkest side of sand fleas — the side that sounds like popcorn and feels like a kid poking you from the next booth at Pizza Hut.

Many of us understand that farming is a hazardous industry, what with all the heavy machinery involved, but Christie reveals the second leading cause of farm injury: The Ferocious Bovine Menace.

A bull in a china shop is nothing compared with the destructive power of a dog in a family home, as Cassie can tell you first hand. Joyous leaping can be just as injurious to bystanders as an intentional attack.

It’s no coincidence that sloth is listed among the deadly sins. Once they were elephant sized, and now all that ruthlessness is condensed into a stealthy mammalian package that doesn’t look at all right.

Image: Jennifer’s nasty case of leash burn.

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