Helen and I Smack Down Unhappiness

17654054938_aca84e3eb0_k

This first ran in August, 2016, and then it ran again a year or so later, because the recipe for mint lemonade had an important update. It’s had no updates since because Helen and I have not gotten together because, you know. And I’m re-upping it now because it’s hot out and I don’t know how else to talk about summer heat, specifically mid-Atlantic summer heat. Not that everyone else’s summer heat isn’t also impressive and unbearable and I suppose will be getting more so. Luckily, Helen and I have discovered the cure, the antidote, the perfect response, and I feel I should share it as often as possible.

Oh my but it was hot.  The sun stayed out, the humidity kept climbing, the air was flat-white and dense, walking through it took more effort than it was worth.  The temperature was in the upper 90’s, heat index in the upper 110’s, and they stayed that way for days.  A cardinal sat in the graying lilac outside my living room window, its beak open, panting.*  A hummingbird appeared on the feeder and drank and drank and drank, I’ve never seen one sit so long.  The garden flowers were wilting, the whole garden seemed to be having a lie-down.  Unhappiness had seized the world and nothing was going to get better.

But in case it did I wanted to still have a garden, so I put out a spot-sprinkler, like a fountain, near the birdfeeder.  About ten minutes later, the air was full of little birds, going to and from the feeder by flying through the sparkly water like hot-dogging jet fighters.  After a while, the sprinkler water began running in a small stream in the trench outlining the garden bed, and a sparrow sat in the stream, fluffing his feathers full of water.  Later I looked out the window and now the lawn was full of adolescent sparrows and goldfinches, ten or fifteen of them, just sitting on the grass in the sprinkling water.  They were talking interestedly to each other but otherwise they sat still, letting the water cool them, like tiny brown nesting hens, like little rabbits hunkered down in the wet green grass.

And later still, the doves came, landing in the grass, swoosh bump.  One of them, then another one, then another, lay on their sides with one wing lifted, their wing feathers spread out, cooling one side and then flipping over to the other.  They looked less like birds than like yoga class.

It reminded me of the weekend before — just as hot, this was a long heat wave – when our Helen came to visit.  We share an interest in sitting on the porch and talking to each other and to passing neighbors while Helen knits.  The porch was breathtakingly hot, so we prepared ourselves by making mint lemonade.  Helen had had it in Saudi Arabia and found a recipe; we thought we’d try it.  I borrowed a blender from a neighbor, Helen and I picked mint, I squeezed lemons, Helen measured the water, the demarara sugar, and the ice cubes, and we put the whole thing into the blender.  It blended up nicely, the sugar melted, the blender had a spigot, and we spigotted that mint lemonade into glasses.  It came out brown,** the color of pond water.  It was not what we had in mind.  So I poured it back into the blender and meanwhile, Helen had an epiphany, a moment of sheerest genius:  “Blend and spigot at the same time,” she said.  The lemonade frothed into the glasses, an icey, slushy, foamy light green.  By the time we got it out onto the porch, the foam and liquid had separated, and now it looked like pond water with scum.  We didn’t care any more, we drank it, out there in the heat, and it was the exact counter to the heat, cool and vivid; you could believe in the goodness of life again.

A neighbor, a young woman pushing her little girl in a stroller, came up the sidewalk.  This young woman had a demanding full time job, as does her husband, and the husband had to travel this weekend so the woman and her little girl were on their own.  The little girl had got strep throat, and then the young woman did.  The two of them were recovering as best they could and decided some fresh air might help them recover more.  But they didn’t consider the heat and by the time they walked up to the porch, the baby was pink and sweaty, and the young woman was pale, with two red spots on her cheeks.

Helen and I leapt into action, got the little girl a popsicle, brought out the rest of the mint lemonade, and sat with them under the ceiling fan and said soothing and boring things.  After a while the young woman said, “This is so refreshing.”  Then she said, “I feel so much better now.”  And the next day she told me that she was completely recovered and that the mint lemonade was what cured her.

So this is to say, unhappiness in one form or another will surely seize the world again but things do get better.  A little sprinkler, a little mint lemonade — it might be good to make a list of these things — and things really do start looking up.

___________

*UPDATE:  I just saw this in Science News and knew you’d want to know it: “Birds can’t sweat, . . . and the many species that pant as a cooldown technique have to compensate for the water lost in the process. Birds let their body temperatures rise to heights that would cook a human, and Wolf’s work has shown that this tolerance lessens water loss.”  Did you get that? birds let their body temperatures rise to heights that would cook a human!

**UPDATE 2: A neighbor said that some drink she made with demarara sugar was kind of brown.  So the brownness, which is not agreeable, of mint lemonade might be mitigated if you use regular white sugar.  I’ll try that next time.  Also, demarara is also called turbinado.

UPDATE 3: See previous redux, with a plan for the next update, whenever it might be: white sugar + blend the mint and sugar together before adding ice. We’re gonna get this right, I promise.

The forbidden boat

In the early mornings now, instead of scrolling the news or mulling over a Wordle, I check the wind speed and direction. If it’s from the East, I multiply by two. I run along the Rideau Canal, watched by the same worryingly-tame heron every day, and by the time I get to the lockmaster’s house the sun has fully risen.

I will have seen maybe six people in those 30 minutes, but the next stretch through the Byward Market is the most populated. Someone is passed out in the middle of the (pedestrian) road, embracing a pilfered potted plant. By the time I get to the homeless mission, it’s all “fuck you!” from one side of the street and “fuck you!” like an echoed loon call, from the other. Then on past the Chinese embassy, which since COVID has been missing its around-the-clock vigil of Falun Gong protestors.

The Starbucks opens at 6, which means if I time it right I can pick up a latte for my walk through the chichi part of town. Rockcliffe for a long time was designated as a village inside of Ottawa in order to avoid being subject to the city’s administration. As a result, it remains a sylvan oddity with massive lot sizes and no sidewalks. My mother had to learn the rural curriculum there as a child because she was officially inhabiting a hamlet, identifying cow breeds at school but raised far from any farm.

Continue reading

queen bees and geniuses

Every morning, I wake up, make myself a cup of coffee, and open the Spelling Bee. For the uninitiated, Spelling Bee is a word game published daily by the New York Times, and the concept is delightfully simple: you are given seven letters arranged in the shape of a honeycomb, and you try to find as many words as you can by combining the letters in any order. Words must be longer than four letters, and they must contain the letter in the middle of the honeycomb. The longer the word, the more points you get, and every day, there’s at least one “pangram,” which uses all seven letters.

Toddy, comic, mood
Continue reading

Redux: Nominative Determinism

Chris Pincher. You may think of him as the man whose singular commitment to nominative determinism provided the final straw that brought down the UK Prime Minister. I think of him as my flimsy excuse to republish my paean to nominative determinism!

I’ve also taken the opportunity to top it up with some of the best tips you guys sent after the original post. Please keep sending. 

Today’s runner-up is Mr. Rich Nephew, the new anti-corruption czar at the Biden administration. ER doctor Hans Hurt follows in the footsteps of the many nominative determinism acolytes in medicine. We also have Julian Crimes, recently dismissed from the Cambridgeshire Police Department – I like to think it was for rejecting his nominative predestination. Nominative determinisms in history edition: Sidney Vines, botanist.

And finally, a big shout out to Hans Clevers, a pioneering organoid researcher whose foundational work is enabling other researchers to grow their own (mini)brains in their own Petri dishes.

But what if you reject the premise of your name? Read on.

Summer Break! Go Sit in a Forlorn Chair

tambako:8354136751


It’s summer, and I’ve been thinking of what poet Billy Collins called those, “forlorn chairs/though at one time it must have seemed/a good place to stop and do nothing for a while.” Even situated, as they usually are, to take in the view, it’s hard for those chairs to compete with the attention-grabbing distractions found on our glowing screens.

If you’re not careful, you can spend hours looking at moving pictures and not reading things on your magical device. You start on a favorite news site, clicking through the headlines. Maybe you even open a story or two and read a couple of paragraphs. Then you leave those open tabs to visit a social media site, which sends you on another long string of click and skim. And these on-screen attractions are merely a distraction from your work and there are also the chores of daily life, and before you know it, the day is done and the chairs have sat empty once again.

If ever there’s a season to occupy those lonely chairs, this is it, and here at our farm, my husband and I (and our near-constant stream of summer visitors) are doing our part. Compared to all the shiny things beckoning from our screens, sitting on our front porch and watching the sun move across the sky might seem a little boring. Sure, we’ve got spectacular views of jagged mountains and deep canyons. But sunsets unfold slowly, and sitting still and paying attention requires a kind of patience that’s rarely called upon in the digital age. Which is why it feels so important to practice the art of just being — savoring the moment, for its ephemeral quality.

A few weeks ago, I went mountain biking with a friend along a high ridge near Aspen. Near the end of the ride, just before we dropped back down into the valley, we paused to take in the view. My friend pointed to some massive houses perched along the hillside below us. “I did landscaping work at some of those mansions one summer,” he told me.

Continue reading

She Speaks for Protection

My mom used to work for the Environmental Protection Agency. She rode the bus downtown every workday from where she lived in the mountains outside of Denver. A golden-hearted woman, she believes in the EPA’s mission, which is protection. She saw her agency’s job as preventing the water we drink and the air we breathe from becoming unhealthy, which would degrade the existence of every living thing, including us. Those are my words. She’d say it was keeping our lives and the world good. 

This was years ago and I was in my late twenties, she in her forties. I ran a fly by night river outfit in the desert of southeast Utah and sometimes she’d come on trips. We were with a group of mostly geologists for a week on the Green River and I had this hydrology trick I wanted to show them. It’s where you fill a five-gallon bucket with river water, carry it up a cut bank of a beach, and pour it into the damp sand where you watch a stream run back to the river. It carves a channel, setting up meanders, building cliffs on one side, tearing them down on the other, all six or seven inches deep. It’s a perfect miniature, an analog landscape. The damage left behind would be a winding rivulet that hardly anyone would notice. Like my mom, I prefer to impact my environment as little as possible, while I do like engaging with it.

We tied off in the mouth of a side canyon boxed in with cliffs and a steep beach out front, a good place for this hydrology experiment. When we got out and stretched our legs, we found that the river had pushed up sand and dammed the mouth of this incoming drainage. A body of water had gathered behind it, a long, narrow pond of driftwood and drowned willows. 

A lightbulb went off in my head.

Continue reading

Location, Location, Location

Two days after the summer solstice, more than an hour after sunset, the sky a rich dark blue that is at last starting to deepen to black. Five of us are arrayed about a grassy swale near the top of the southeastern face of Protection Island. We have all our layers on and hunker down to keep out of the stiff wind that blows off the Strait of Juan de Fuca. We are waiting for the rhinoceros auklets to come back.

On a steep slope a short distance away, we have set small purse nets across the entrances of ten burrows, each of which has a chick deep inside. Our plan—more of a hope, really—is that when the chicks’ parents return in an hour or so, bearing meals of small fish, they will entangle themselves in the nets. We will then fetch them and tape small GPS tags to their backs. Those tags will show us where the auklets go to find food in the Salish Sea, sketching lines across the marine spaces as the birds transit hither and yon.

No one has really looked in a concerted way at where the auklets from Protection Island forage. But this seemingly straightforward question—how do rhinoceros auklets at their largest colony in the Pacific Northwest find enough to eat?—quickly splinters into twenty. As the auklets fly out thirty or so miles each day, do they consistently search in more or less one direction, visiting one general area throughout the breeding season? Or do they range widely? Do they go to the same places year after year? What is it that defines their preferred foraging habitats? Banks? Submarine canyons? Other features? Do auklets avoid areas with high ship traffic? Do males and females forage together or apart? And so on and on and on.

Continue reading

All Delight We Cannot See: Epilogue

Closeup of rain-dotted pink and white cherry blossoms against a white sky.

Last month I wrote about delight—specifically, my inability to access it, at least the way I once did. How impossible it felt to notice the little blessings of an ordinary day.

Then a funny thing happened. Mere minutes after writing that post, I started seeing those little blessings. So I opened a fresh list of delights. I kept it going.

I got sick, and partially recovered, and then got sick again, and stayed sick. Still the delights have not ceased.

It’s no great mystery, really: in writing that post, I gave myself permission to grieve. I let the dam crumble, let the flood of sorrow and anger wash through me, and in so doing loosened the talons of despair. Not entirely. Just a little bit. Enough.

I am still sick, still angry, still grieving, still watching the losses accumulate. But the blessings are still piling up, too.

Here’s a few of them.

Continue reading