my BFF (birthday-inspired friend fiasco)

Seattle is the first place I’ve lived with the intention to stick around. I always knew I’d leave my hometown, and when I moved for college and grad school, I thought of them as temporary stops. But lately, my role has shifted to the stayer, while people around me leave. One of my best friends […]

instructions for a permission ceremony

ingredients: good friends you trust a list of things you need permission for time, space snot bandana and/or tissues (optional but recommended) instructions: gather share and explain your list of things you need permission for friends give you permission: i hereby give you permission to…. give permission to self: i give myself permission to…. cry […]

What Do We Owe Our Octopus Teachers?

Two weeks ago, late to the zeitgeist as ever, I watched My Octopus Teacher, the Oscar-winning documentary about a relationship between a human and a cephalopod. Probably you’ve seen it (and if not, you should!), but, in brief, it’s about the yearlong friendship filmmaker Craig Foster strikes up with a female common octopus who lives […]

How To Be A Good Online Friend

For better or for worse, I have a lot of experience dealing with online harassment. I also have a lot of experience with friends who are kind and caring and largely oblivious to what online harassment looks for feels like. Which is good! I hope they never have to experience it. It is not fun. […]