Redux: From Here to Eternity

A version of this essay originally appeared June 15, 2012, as part of this site’s Father’s Day series. In the final paragraph I’ve updated one temporal reference (“two weeks ago yesterday” to “May 31, 2012”) and added one recent personal development. “My father,” I would say, “is older than the universe.” The line has always […]

Bad Science Poet

This sampling of doggerel originally appeared in 2015. It was one of a series of such samplings from the journals of Bad Science Poet. Just remember: “It’s not the science that’s bad—it’s the poetry!”™ ODE TO AN ANTARCTIC FRIEND Penguin, oh penguin, you’re so black and white. Your colors remind me of both day and night. […]

2022: Resolutions & Aspirations

Cameron: In 2022 I really want to learn how to do a loud whistle. Happy to take Zoom lessons from any Person of LWON, because then I will only be spitting at my laptop and not in your face. Husband told me I should maybe choose a more pandemic-appropriate skill. Christie: Cameron, when I was […]

2021: Bragging

2021 was 2021, but we found things even in 2021 life to be proud of. Being pragmatic, we aim low. Ben: – sort of taught my thirty-pound terrier/pug mix (who is also Jane’s dog’s doppeldogger) to skijor – with a group of fellow Olds, destroyed a group of local teenagers in a game of pickup basketball – plowed […]

Alligator Awesome

I know it’s not Friday, and we don’t really do a lot of penis posts any more. But I felt like with all the uncertainty in the world, I really wanted to revisit this post about alligator penises. It first ran in 2013. The alligator harvest at Louisiana’s Rockefeller Wildlife Refuge happened every September, so […]

Bad Science Poet

On September 4, 2014, LWON welcomed a new occasional contributor, Bad Science Poet. (Motto: “It’s not the science that’s bad—it’s the poetry!”™) The initial post (below) as well as subsequent contributions survive online. To this day, LWON hasn’t disavowed them. MAYBE, MAYBE NOT Is that uncertainty I see? Its position known to only me? Is […]

The Rooster and the Puppy

A version of this post first ran in 2013. In 2006, a puppy came to live on a small farm in Colorado. His name was Oskar, and he was the runt of the litter. Oskar was a playful little guy, but on one fateful autumn day, he would learn that he was living in the […]

10,000 Hours of Midlife Crisis

It’s been said and often quoted that 10,000 hours of doing anything will make you a master. Never mind the squishy definition of mastery that makes it apocryphal, I believe it. When the term mastery is used, I figure it’s not that you’ve risen flawlessly to becoming a great chef or engineer, but that you’ve […]