Now We Rhyme The Science Times

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Dear friends! Forgive a change of form
A deviation from the norm
For on the feast of Saint Pat-rick
A man who liked his Limerick
We here present for all to see
The science news from A to Z
The facts from ‘cross the universe
The Science Times, told in light verse

Today above the fold (we think—
for we no longer read in ink)
We visit with the Nashville gent
Who tried to be our president
Look, he’s gone vegan! He’s lost weight!
He’s optimistic ’bout our fate!
The cost of solar’s going down
And energy the whole world ’round
Is getting greener—his new slides
Will linger on the brighter sides
No more talk of climate peril
He’s onstage with—is that Pharell?

Next we learn what happens when
Hummingbirds are captured, then
Put in windy tunnels and
Made to hover on demand
Twitching wings and tails, it seems
Maintain form in such extremes
‘Tis said these rather hard-won knowns
Will help to build us better drones

Most apps are fine, some apps are great
But apps do not a doctor make
Take heed, consumer, and beware
The apps that promise to take care
Of zits, or treat your diabetes
Are a very specious species
And one more thing is certain, see:
No app can really test your pee

Maybe wisdom comes with age
One new study’s tried to gauge
The skills our noggins are acquiring
As they contemplate retiring
Seems aging brains have lots more knowledge
Than those more freshly out of college
They also judge another’s mood
Far better than your average dude’s

And last here is a charming story
Of winter’s pointed crystal glory
In Canada, that chilly land
Where frost is always close at hand
A lab observes icicles grow
In air they call below zero
They’ve found that bumpy ice formations
Result from small contaminations.

So ends our ode to science news
We hope our efforts did amuse
Dear friends, we send you on your way
And wish you good St. Paddy’s Day
With one request: Please pay your fee.
Reporting costs. Bad verse is free.

Top: Tea drawing by Austin Kleon. Creative Commons.

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